Making "Cents" of Friendships

It can be heartbreaking for parents to watch their children, especially girls, navigate the rocky road of friendships.

Whether it's elementary, middle or high school, in varying degrees, friendships are intense yet very fluid. A single day can change the dynamics of who your child thought was her "best" friend.

Everyone wants to belong but the person you were close to in elementary school may find new interests and new friends in middle school and you drift apart.

It's important to explain to children that it's normal for friendships to evolve and change. A great way is to use coins as a way to explain the different levels of friendship.

Penny Friends are people you know and might say "hello" to in the hallways at school. You have no real personal connection with them.

Nickel Friends are casual friends. You may be in classes, clubs or sports together. You are not deeply invested in the relationship and don't go out of your way to hang out with them.

Dime Friends are close friends. You share hobbies and other interests with them. There is a mutual trust. You spend quality time together and share confidences. You support each other.

Quarter Friends are your best friends and are often family members. They give you unconditional support and can become lifelong friends. You know you can depend upon them and want to spend time with them. You share secrets and personal information. There is a depth to the friendship that is on another level from being a close friend. The key word in a best friend for me is loyalty.

Each "coin" can be interchangeable as people move in and out of your life. Using the coin analogy may help your child understand that it is important for them to get involved in activities that interest them and meaningful friendships will evolve over time.

Quality in friendships is more important than quantity. Even Al Capone said, "Be careful who you call your friends. I'd rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies."